I think I finally figured out what compels me to stay up alone late and night. It hit me as I took my late night shower and began listening to Jake Shimabukuro.
Something inside me longs to experience silence during my conscious, waking hours…to actively listen to myself…in silence. There is much too much noise literally all the time around me from the second I wake until the time everyone in the house falls asleep. My late night time is the only time I get to just sit, or lay, and listen to myself.
While I listened to Jake’s soothing rendition, I realized I wasn’t listening to it at all. It was simply helping me listen to myself. My body (and mind and soul) needed that, so it did it naturally. I’m just glad that I had the clarity to realize what was going on. Perhaps I will work to make time for silence at other times and see if I don’t feel quite so compelled to stay up so late into the night.